Hit on my muse

thxunlivedlife:

• Are you an interior
   decorator? Because when I saw you, the entire room became beautiful.
  
• Did  you sit in a pile of
  sugar? Cause you have a pretty sweet ass.
  
• Do  you have a Band-Aid?
  Because I just scraped my knee falling for you.
  
• If  I were a stop light,
  I’d turn red everytime you passed by, just so I could  stare at you a bit
  longer.
  
• If you were a  vegetable
  you’d be a cute-cumber.
  
• There  are people who say
  Disneyland is the happiest place on earth. Apparently,  none of them have
  ever been in your arms.
  
• Are  you
  an orphanage? Cause I wanna give you kids.
  
• Are  you my Appendix?
  Because I have a funny feeling in my stomach that makes me  feel like I
  should take you out.
  
• I  was so enchanted by
  your beauty that I ran into that wall over there. So I’m  going to need
  your name and number for insurance purposes.
  
• I’m  not staring at your
  boobs. I’m staring at your heart.
  
• Can  I take your picture
  to prove to all my friends that angels do exist?
  
• Your  body is 65% water
  and I’m thirsty.
  
• My  doctor says I’m
  lacking Vitamin U.
  
• Can  I follow you home?
  Cause my parents always told me to follow my dreams.
  
• If  I were a cat I’d spend
  all 9 lives with you.
  
• Smoking  is hazardous to
  your health… and baby, you’re killing me!
  
• You  must be a hell of a
  thief because you stole my heart from across the room.
  
• Do  you have a twin
  sister? Then you must be the most beautiful girl in the  world!
  
• You  know I’d like to
  invite you over, but I’m afraid you’re so hot that you’ll  skyrocket my
  air-conditioning bill.
  
• If  I were to ask you out
  on a date, would your answer be the same as the answer  to this question?
  
• Are  you a campfire? Cause
  you are hot and I want s’more.
  
• I  bet you $20 you’re
  gonna turn me down.
  
• I  like Legos, you like
  Legos, why don’t we build a relationship?
  
• Would  you grab my arm so
  I can tell my friends I’ve been touched by an angel?
  
• There’s  only one thing I
  want to change about you, and that’s your last name.
  
• Did  you have lucky charms
  for breakfast? Because you look magically delicious!
  
• Can  I borrow your cell
  phone? I need to call animal control, because I just saw a  fox!
  
• I’m  no organ donor but
  I’d be happy to give you my heart.
  
• Kiss  me if I’m wrong, but
  dinosaurs still exist, right?
  
• Do  you believe in love at
  first sight, or should I walk by again?
  
• You  see my friend over
  there? [Point to friend] He wants to know if YOU think I’M  cute.
  
• Can  I borrow a kiss? I
  promise I’ll give it back.
  
• Are  you my phone charger?
  Because without you, I’d die.
  
• Are  you a cat? Cause you
  are purrrfect
  
• You  know how they say
  skin is the largest organ on the human body? Not in my  case.
  
• My  lips are like
  skittles. Wanna taste the rainbow?
  
• I  have an
  “owie” on my lip. Will you kiss it and make it better?
  
• Hey baby, I must be a
   light switch, cuz every time I see you, you turn me on!
  
• Do  I know you? Cause you
  look just like my next girlfriend/boyfriend.
  
• Have  you always been this
  cute, or did you have to work at it?
  
• Was  your father a
  mechanic? Then how did you get such a finely tuned body?
  
• Apart  from being sexy,
  what do you do for a living?
  
• Is  it hot in here or is
  it just you?
  
• I  blame you for global
  warming… your hotness is too much for the planet to  handle!
  
• You’re  single. I’m
  single. Coincidence? I think not.
  
• Stop,  drop, and roll,
  baby. You are on fire.
  
• Baby,  you’re so hot, you
  make the equator look like the north pole.
  
• I  hope there’s a fire
  truck nearby, cause you’re smokin’!
  
• I  just got dumped, and I
  think that you could make me feel better.
  
• If  you were a burger at
  McDonalds, you’d be McGorgeous.
  
• Your  hand looks heavy.
  Let me hold it for you.
  
• You’re  so hot, I could
  bake cookies on you.
  
• Is  your car battery dead?
  Because I’d like to jump you.
  
• I’m  lost. Can you tell me
  which road leads to your heart?
  
• It’s  a good thing I wore
  gloves today. Otherwise you’d be too hot to handle.