SHIPPING HELL: or… How to Survive This Mess & Not Take Everything so Seriously…

rockinrpmemes:

_{All kidding aside, I know there’s lots of common things that we all suffer among our friends in silence. Or, we ignore about the wild world of shipping. I realize that this is fandom-centric, but much of this is applicable to OC’s as well!!! Here’s just a small POINT BLANK manifesto I think that most of us THINK but very few SAY out loud.} 

• People are going to be jealous.
  Be it regarding your ship partner, you, or how successful you two are doing. Accept it, ignore the hate, and put blinders on. BLOCK anyone that sends shade your way, it’s very simple.

• People are not going to agree or even like your ship OVER 50% of the time. SEE ABOVE. But I must add; YOU don’t even like some pairings either! Be it a popular ship you are sick of seeing, the characters involved, the TYPE of relationship they have, or even just the fact you HATE the concept of a psychologically flawed or vanilla pair. Maybe you just don’t like seeing a certain character with anybody. That doesn’t change the fact that the players involved, love it. So mind your own business. You would not like it if someone harassed you over your pair, so learn to tag, block and maybe just not follow someone that rp’s a ship you loathe.

• Don’t avoid shipping something merely because it’s unknown or isn’t popular. I know a great deal of people that ship things simply because there is either a TON of source material for it, fanart, fanfiction, or video edits. That shouldn’t stop you from shipping something you love! Not everyone is creative in the art realm and can’t draw their pair, but there are a ton of artists out there taking commissions. But this shouldn’t be your driving force to write with someone, anyway. And don’t be afraid to be unique. You see your muse a certain way, and you may be denying yourself the exciting privilege of writing with someone new that you haven’t considered for your muse. Who knows, you could love it more.

• Even if you love a popular ship, and it seems like everyone agrees, there is a silent majority that does NOT. I’m not faulting anyone that loves a popular ship! I love a few myself. This is mainly to save the fan favorites from walking into a land-mine when approaching the “same” character for the ship that THEY adore. Say you play character A from a popular AB pair. And one day, you come across a GREAT character B. You assume, unwittingly, that everyone that plays character B MUST ship what is seen en masse, but lo and behold, they HATE it. You feel dejected and embarrassed, and maybe a little pissed off. After all, “everyone” ships that pairing! No, no they don’t.  MANY, many people stay quiet about their disagreement over a ship, because they don’t want to to get involved in the endless debates of fandom discourse, get hate, or be inundated with dozens of anons forcing a ship they loathe. If someone says “I don’t ship it” on their front page or rules, and you STILL force the ship, you’re an asshole. Done. 

• Some ships make NO sense (to you).
  You have NO idea what 2 people have discussed in private, plotted, developed, and worked on off-stage. If you are arriving halfway through Act II of a play, you obviously missed the first half of a backstory that led to the moment you’re witnessing. It’s YOUR ignorance, not theirs. Even if 2 people develop a ship quickly that makes no sense to you, it’s still none of your business. Muses are funny things. There are pairings that started off as crack on MY rp blog that are now, 2 years later…OTP. You simply cannot assume anything is OOC. You weren’t there, and you didn’t play it out. We’ve ALL seen couples in real life that make us go: ????? So how is this any different?

• Popular ships are aggressively present & SOME players will try to block out any unique ships, and fight them off so that their popular ship “succeeds” ultimately. Accept this now. You aren’t going to change these people, and it’s not important anyway! If you find ONE player that agrees with your ship that’s all you need. Eventually, people take notice of unique or rarer ships and will step aside for you. if you don’t ship to be popular, then you will be fine, trust me. If you are getting snubbed by stubborn shippers, then they are not for you, anyway! That kind of a player would not mesh with your muse in the long run, and even if you try, it would fail.

• Some ships are NOT forever.
  I know we all find a magic OTP partner and think it’s going to last for as long as tumblr is running. Be reasonable with yourself right now. It’s very easy to get obsessive and attached to your partners, and think that they will feel the same way about your stories/characters forever. It’s like real life relationships. Some pairings last for years, some fizzle after a few months. Don’t beat yourself up, people change, lose muse, and their fandoms shift. Sometimes real life issues are coming into play that squelch your writing dynamics. It’s okay, there’s plenty new partners out there that you can mesh with again. Don’t let a broken OTP partnership sour future possibilities. 

• Some partners will NOT ship your pairing as hard as you.
  You may ADORE your partner and their muse, and your ship is #1 in your book, but to them, secretly: “eh” is how they feel about it. Maybe they wanted to try the ship out and give it chance, or at the time they felt it was fun. Sometimes we keep partners for a long time because we love the mun, but their muse is drifting from our muse’s favor. It’s OKAY. To be perfectly honest, this happens more often than the dire OTPs out there. Most people don’t alert their partner to this “eh” feeling because we ALL know how it feels to be dumped by a friend/partner, and don’t want to hurt that partner’s feelings. True, being honest in a respectful manner is best. Yet, so many use “pulling away” as their tactic. If you feel your partner only feels “eh” about the pair, please be patient, don’t attack them and demand answers, instead, ask them respectively. Mostly, you will get an answer. Maybe they feel YOU don’t like the pairing as much as they do! However, If your partner is being ambiguous and not answering your questions openly, clearly, or confuse you more about how they feel?  Leave them be, and go focus on a partner that DOES love your pairing as much as you do. This is hard to face, but it saves everyone stress, grief and drama. Sometimes you have to read between the lines and be the bigger person. 

• _{Some people ONLY ship to smut, others AVOID smut altogether, and some are balanced on both; it’s NONE of your business what 2 writers write. However, be aware of what kind of player YOU are, and what you really want. Be flexible and understanding that not everyone writes ships the same way. If you are a non-smutter, you CAN NOT get angry at your partner when they go off to rp/post smut with another ship partner that does allow it. You laid down your boundaries and preferences, they are allowed to have theirs. That being said, to players that DO write smut, understand that non-smutters still love to ship. So on the flip-side: if smut is SO important to you, maybe you need to leave that person alone, or take your muse’s libido out in fan-works or rp with partners that DO smut. But overall, BOTH partners need to be in communication with each other. Many pairings work just fine in a non-smut environment, they merely imply a relationship and post images for that pair. If it seems that smut/no smut is TOO big of a deal breaker for the two of you, best move on.} 
  
  
• Multi-Shippers are NOT all whores. Single-shippers are NOT all stingy.
  (Most of the time XD) Seriously, everyone ships and writes their muses their own special way. For some, this is just another facet of exploring their muse’s dynamics. Multi-shipping can be VERY hard, juggling and keeping each verse separate. If you want to ship with a multi-shipper, understand that many times they don’t mean to exclude, they are trying hard to be fair, but some days their muse JUST WANTS 1 or 2 muses that day for their mood. Others, they only cooperate for other muses. It’s not personal. As for single-shippers, they feel multi shipping is easy, but single shipping is a greater challenge, so they want to try something opposite their norm. Sometimes muses just go “no” to everyone but ONE other muse, so they’re honest about it! Single-shipping with a multi-shipper takes patience and understanding, the same as smut/non-smut partnerships do. If you are a single shipper, placing pressure on your multi-shipper partner will BACKFIRE on you and cause you to lose them in the long run. Multi-shippers need to understand that not everyone is comfy with someone with a ton of verses and partners, and if you are someone that “collects” a certain muse over and over for your muse, it will make them feel like just another notch on your muse’s belt. Please, however you ship—communicate with your followers and partners. Let them know your boundaries UP FRONT.

• _{FAVORITISM exists. Accept this, don’t deny it either.
  This sums up everything and states the elephant in the room that most players won’t say. They may sugar coat it with: “I love you ALL!!” and “My muse is just being poopy today!”  Well, yes, sometimes that is very true. Your muse may truly adore all their ship verses, but sometimes…if we are TRULY HONEST, we will admit that we and our muses have favorite partners and ships. How shocking. There’s nothing wrong with this, don’t you dare feel guilty about it!! This is normal, and if anyone makes you feel like a monster for daring to have preferences or daring to mesh with others more than them, then they are disillusioned, and you must avoid them. It’s impossible to like everyone at the same level, that’s not how the brain works. That’s not how chemistry works! So if you feel you are not someone’s favorite, don’t worry. You WILL find someone that will think of you as their favorite! It’s okay to have LEVELS of ships and partners, it’s no big deal not being #1 on everyone’s list. You certainly don’t make everyone #1 on your list…}